As 2013 ends and 2014 begins I find my heart overrun with one predominant emotion …
Right now I am in a puddle of tears simply because I’m grateful.
I’m so, so grateful for this past year.
No, there weren’t any particularly spectacular events that took place this year. In fact, there was a lot of heartache. There was a lot of difficulty personally and for those I love. There was a lot of loss and a lot of disappointment. There were several unexpected detours–and more than a few delays.
But as I reflect back on the year, my focus isn’t on any of those things.
My focus is on his goodness.
My focus is on the abounding grace I had for the journey.
My focus is on the unshakable hope alive in my heart.
My focus is on him.
… the One who personifies goodness
… the One who is filled with grace
… the One who is the source of my hope
Yes, there were some losses this year–and they stung. I’m still mourning some of them. But this year wasn’t about what I lost, it was about what I found. And I found a lot of things this year.
… I found hope again
… I found rest (for real)
… I found faith at a whole new level
If you were to boil it down to just one word, I think what I really found was contentment.
I found contentment in a way that has eluded me in the past. Contentment that far transcends circumstances. I’d tasted it before, but there was always this little place in me that still felt like I was missing something. There was a little spot in my heart where I still felt like an orphan–where I still felt left out. There was still a little niggling thought that I really didn’t have all I needed.
But I do. And somehow, someway, somewhere along the way this year I’ve realized that.
And I’m so, so grateful.
No, I’m not walking in this new found contentment perfectly. I’m not there all the time. I wish! Like anything else I’ll have to just keep walking it out–step-by-step, day-by-day. But sometimes you just know something is different. And as I look a back over this past year I do know something is different … me.
And I’m so, so grateful.
Father, as we reflect on this past year and move into a new year, may it be with expectation and gratitude in our hearts. May you give us a right perspective and in that perspective, may we find peace. Thank you for the reality of your amazing grace that is always sufficient for all things. May hope overflow from your heart to ours as we walk hand-in-hand with you into a new day. You are always with us, always for us–and in you, we always have all we need. ~Amen