Forgetting to Breathe (And it’s a Good Thing)

He takes my breath away.

No really, he does.

Sometimes, when I glimpse his face …

the intensity of his gaze …

penetrating with truth …

yet filled with such merciful kindness …

and such unfathomable love …

I simply forget to breathe.

(And it’s a good thing.)

I’m in awe of him. I’m undone in his presence …

And I’m more completely in love with him than ever before.

The past several years have been quiet–spiritually speaking. My life is still very busy in a general sense, but as far as ministry goes, it has been a time of rest. There have been moments of intense activity. There have been moments when the path has twisted and turned; moments of shifting. Moments (many moments!) when I thought the season was changing. But mostly, that is what they turned out to be …

Moments.

So I’m still here. I’m still here in this place of quiet. In this place of learning and growing. In this place of rest and restoration.

In this place of gazing upon the beauty of the One I love.

That’s my favorite part …

gazing …

beholding …

enthralled by his beauty …

mesmerized by his majesty …

undone by his glory.

I could stay here forever.

But I know I can’t. (At least not yet.) I know the season will change. It will (soon) be time to run. It will (soon) be time to soar. It will (soon) be time to follow the cloud into new territory.

And it will be great. It will be amazing. It will be life-changing and life-bringing.

But I’m not in a hurry.

I’m not in a hurry, because–finally–I’m content.

I’m content right here and right now. Not complacent–not by a long shot–he has been stirring and awakening my heart far too much for that. I’m just content. I’m blissfully, peacefully, and gratefully content to simply be where I am.

I’m content to be who I am.

Much in the past several years has been difficult–at many times and in many ways. In this world we will have difficulty. Period. But my difficulties have (often) been made worse by my own impatience for something, anything, to change. They have (often) been made worse by unhealed hurts and unmet expectations–usually that I didn’t even know I had.

They have (often) been made worse by failing to align with the perspective–and timing–of heaven.

But now I can honestly say I’m grateful–so, so grateful–eternally grateful–for this time. Even more, I’m grateful for him. I’m grateful for his patience and his persistence. I’m grateful for unrelenting love that refuses to allow me to stay the same; unrelenting love that refuses to allow me to settle for anything less than all he has purposed for my life.

Which is good–because I don’t want to settle either.

So here I am …

where I am …

watching  and waiting …

listening and learning …

gazing upon the beauty of the One I love.

And as I gaze, sometimes I forget to breathe.

Because he takes my breath away.

(And it’s a good thing.)


6 thoughts on “Forgetting to Breathe (And it’s a Good Thing)

  1. Cindy,
    Thanks for sharing your heart!
    You remind me of Mary, who chose the greater part, and it was not taken away from her.
    I identify so much with the simplicity of waiting on, and waiting with Jesus. I heard him say once while in a foreign land, “Can you not watch with me for one hour?” What A joy and privilege to sit with Jesus who dwells within our house! Then when He calls or sends, we run with pleasure,
    Knowing we are pleasing Him as we run the race of faith He calls us to.

    1. Thanks Glenda 🙂 Your words are always an encouragement. That is one of the most comforting verses in Scripture to me … that when Mary “chose the better part” Jesus also said it would “NOT be taken away from her.” For me, that is one of His greatest and most precious promises..Many blessings to you!

  2. you said, “But now I can honestly say I’m grateful–so, so grateful–eternally grateful–for this time. Even more, I’m grateful for him. I’m grateful for his patience and his persistence. I’m grateful for unrelenting love that refuses to allow me to stay the same; unrelenting love that refuses to allow me to settle for anything less than all he has purposed for my life.”

    WOW! I know this Cindy, I know this. Reading this took “my” breath away because I am so grateful for his love for me, no matter my circumstances. What the enemy meant to kill me, has only made me stronger and more in love with my heavenly father. I might have to blog about that. lol.
    I love you muchly my friend. 😀

    1. Amen my sweet friend. I was actually thinking of you after I wrote this 🙂 And yes, I think a blog (or maybe even a book???) is definitely in order. Can’t wait to read it. Love you MUCH muchly!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s