Until I Know

As I’ve already shared, I’ve committed to posting a couple times a month over on the Live Brave blog. My first post over there was this short poem. I like to get my head around things in simple terms and I wrote that first poem to do just that. I wanted to answer the question (for me) of what it means to live brave. The last part of the poem goes like this:

Living brave –
It’s not a life style
It’s living life …
Right here, right now,
Fully alive,
Gripped by grace
Compelled by love
Unwilling to settle for anything less
Than ALL you were created to be

Sounds good, right?

But what does that really mean?

We writer types are good with words. I can write, say, and even pray lots and lots of pretty words.

But I’m not content to merely use certain words and phrases—I want to consistently live them.

The night before the poem posted, I saw the tail end of a new documentary called “Compelled by Love” (I’ve since seen the whole film—it is awesome). In that short glimpse, I was ruined. I was ruined because in that moment I wasn’t at all sure I understood what it really means to live my life “compelled by Love.”

But I want to know—desperately.

So I started writing again …

Compelled by Love~
What does it mean?
How can I be …
Compelled by Love?

Gripped by grace~
What does it mean?
How can I be …
Gripped by grace?

Fully alive~
What does it mean?
How can I be …
Fully alive?

Right now I have more questions than answers. But I get the sense it’s a good thing to be willing to pause and ponder – to be willing to ask hard questions – to be willing to say …

I really don’t know.

Because I know the One who does know. (Or at least, I’m on a journey of getting to know Him.)

And as I remain in Him, I pray I really will be …

Compelled by Love

Gripped by grace

And fully alive

And while I’m still praying it through and working it out, I pray I will remain brave enough to admit I really don’t know …

Until I know.


6 thoughts on “Until I Know

    1. Amen Glenda. Especially grateful for the “gripped by grace” part as that is the only way I will ever live compelled by love and fully alive! Much love to you ~

  1. “But I’m not content to merely use certain words and phrases—I want to consistently live them.” Amen! That’s the constant tension between what is revealed to you and what you actually walk in. The paradox of a divine discontentment yet being fully satisfied in Him. So…great questions to ask ourselves. But we know that He loves to show us what He means when we ask these questions of the heart. There’s always more… 🙂

    1. Amen! Heidi once preached a message called “Fully Satisfied and Ravenously Hungry”–the title about sums it up, doesn’t it? If I were to summarize much of my journey over the last few years it has been learning to navigate the tension that exists in that particular paradox. Not “there” but hopefully growing and learning along the way 🙂 Blessings to you!

  2. Oh CIndy, I get that “I wasn’t at all sure I understood what it really means to live my life “compelled by Love.”” I’ve just started reading Heidi’s book Compelled by Love……the first chapter has challenged me and I’m finding it difficult to pick up the book again as I feel I need time to process it 😉 I wondered how it would be to watch the film……..think I’ll need to give myself time! But thankfully the One we know and who loves us so understands and gives grace for us to overcome our weaknesses to turn them into strengths!

    1. Amen! His love is so patient and kind … and I am so grateful for that fact! Thank you so much for your honest comment. I’m glad I’m not the only one challenged to really evaluate the fruit of my life in this regard. I think asking hard questions and going slow is much preferable to a surface response. So thankful He is faithful to complete all He has started in our lives. Many blessings to you on the journey! (P.S. when the time is right, the film is worth it!)

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