Is it His Goodness?

Image result for tears

“Is it His goodness that makes you weep?”

Heaven only knows how long I had been there. I was at the Convention Center in Jerusalem attending a week-long international conference celebrating the Feast of Tabernacles (Sukkot). It was toward the end of the week and the night had ended with an extended time of worship. The band long ago left the stage, the lights were up and the cleaning crew was hard at work, but I was still crumpled on the floor lost in a pool of tears.

It was only my second time in Israel and the week had started out rough. Actually, that is an understatement. The beginning of the week had been filled with the most intense level of spiritual warfare I had experienced to that point. But I just KNEW God had brought me to Israel and KNEW there was a reason for me to be there, so despite the difficulty I pressed through.

I’m so glad I did. That trip ended up being a turning point in so many ways. I had hopped on a plane by myself and headed halfway around the world to spend month in Israel with only the loosest plans in place, simply because I felt Jesus was inviting me to a deeper place in Himself.

He didn’t let me down. 

As I lay on the floor that night, swept away in a tide of emotion too deep for words, I felt a gentle hand resting on my shoulder drawing my lovesick soul back to the surroundings of the convention center. I looked up and saw the compassionate gaze of a middle-aged Scottish woman as she softly uttered that sweetly profound question in the most beautiful lilting voice:

“Is it His goodness that makes you weep?”

Somehow I managed a slight nod.

“Aye” she said with her own knowing nod. Then she gave my arm a slight pat and went on her way.

It was His goodness that made me weep. In fact, I was completely undone by His faithfulness – by His outrageous mercy – and especially by His love.

I was only a week or so into the trip and had already cried an awful lot of tears. Initially many of my tears were from my own pain, frustration and fear (downright terror actually, but that’s another story for another day) –with probably at least a few tears of self-pity thrown in for good measure. However, my tears soon transitioned into the priceless communion of weeping with Him over the city of Jerusalem. It became a sweet time of sharing His heart and His longing in a way I will never forget.

But on that night, my tears weren’t my own tears of sorrow, and they weren’t His tears of longing…

It was simply His goodness that made me weep.

I think tears always have the potential to draw us near to His heart. Ps. 56:8 says: “You keep track of all my sorrows.You have collected all my tears in your bottle.You have recorded each one in your book.” There is such amazing comfort and compassion in that knowledge–He is always with me in my sorrow and pain. He always cares, He is always for me, He is always aware of my concerns, and He is always working on my behalf.

Even more amazing, He invites me to share the longings and desires of His own heart. He invites me to weep with Him when He weeps. He invites me share His ache as He waits for the ultimate unfolding of all it cost Him so dearly to purchase for us.

Both are beautiful and precious. As long as I’m walking this earth, I will undoubtedly continue to weep in both of these circumstances–pouring out my own heartache before Him, as well as sharing His tears when I join Him in declaring His own heart’s desire.

But these aren’t the tears that best express my own longing. I’m so very grateful for the bottle of tears He keeps of my sorrow. And I know the tears I weep with Him are eternal treasures. But the tears I pray will be the most precious … the tears I hope leave the sweetest fragrance … the tears I most long to pour out as offering to Him day and night forever … are those released simply because …

It’s His goodness that makes me weep.

May it forever be so.

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17 thoughts on “Is it His Goodness?

  1. Thank you Cindy for sharing your heart – His heart – with us. It is indeed a precious place to find oneself in, weeping in tandem with the heart of God, the awareness that He has chosen to share it with us and that we partner with Him in this intimate place of intercession. I have felt it profoundly regarding my homeland Ireland and it’s painful divided sectarian history and in recent years for the Native people of North America: the Boarding Schools, Wounded Knee, the Trail of Tears – all outcomes of what my tribe (English and Scots-Irish) seeded in them in God’s name. Bless you.

    1. Blessings to you Harry! What joy it must bring His heart that you are so willing to share His deep longing for unity and reconciliation. May your journey be filled with so much goodness in His presence that it makes sharing even those painful places a light yoke and easy burden.

      So hoping to find my way out to No. Ireland again one day — it was such a lovely and meaningful time for me!

  2. Such a timely post, thank you! I found myself on Sunday weeping at his Goodness. Every time I raised my hands and began to sing I melted in a puddle of tears, the mere movement of singing to him too much for my tender soul to bear, the remembrance of all he has done and continue to do in my life in his mercy, grace and goodness, the enormity of his Love was more than my vessel could contain…it spilled out and over in torrents of tears and I finally realized the worship through tears allowed me an even deeper stillness and silence than my singing ever could, the water of life pouring in as my tears poured out…the most tender place of vulnerability and surrender deepened, softening even more with the tears

    1. “The worship through tears allowed me an even deeper stillness and silence than my singing ever could …” Ooh I so love this. Such beautiful truth and such a precious and holy place to be! Thanks so much for sharing that with me ❤

  3. Ah yes, it’s his goodness that made me weep also today Cindy. Sharing a time of devotion with my husband and unexpected words I could not express because of a flood of tears as I just wept because of his goodness and faithfulness to me during a recent trial. I SIMPLY RAN TO THE COMPUTER AND TYPED IN THE WORDS THAT WERE FILLING MY HEART. Sometimes words aren’t good enough…it takes tears he’s collecting in his bottle .
    Thanks for giving me a place to share.

    1. Amen Glenda – I knew you would “get” this one ❤ Isn't it so amazing that even when words fail, He hears each and every movement of our hearts? We could thank Him for eternity (and will!) but it we will never come even close to truly expressing the depths of His goodness and love! Hugs to you 🙂

  4. What a wonderful, awesome place to be at the Savior’s feet weeping just because of His goodness. A great place to just pour out ourselves to Him. Tears express it better than words, such heartfelt gratitude for our Lord and Savior. Such joy to know that He truly understands and gathers all our tears. Nothing that we do for our Lord is in vain. Thanks for such blessed words of encouragement.

    1. So true! Tears often DO express our gratitude and love better than words. So glad He hears our hearts with such intimate and precise knowledge, yet with such abounding grace. Thank you for taking the time to encourage me with your comment! Many blessings ~

  5. Wow, wow, wow! Yes, His goodness is so…overwhelming. One of my favorite tag lines in a song we sing is, “You can love me more in a moment than other lovers can in a lifetime.” I think these encounters with His goodness are those moments. It’s transforming. Thanks for for sharing such an intimate and wonderful encounter with us here. I could feel the “moment” in your writing. 🙂 Blessings.

    1. “Wow, wow, wow” is right! I so appreciate the fellowship (even in the blogosphere) of those who have truly “tasted and seen” that He is so unbelievably, marvelously, outrageously good! We really can’t find enough ways to speak and write of HIs goodness, can we? Thanks for being one who always points others in that direction 🙂

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