To Whom Shall I Go?

I’m still here, Lord.

I’m still here with You. I’m still here waiting with You. I’m still here waiting for You.

You already know this, but I’m not going anywhere. Whether You come through as I’ve believed–or even as I believe You’ve promised–I’m not going anywhere. To whom shall I go? You hold my heart in Your hands. You hold my very life together.There are so many things I am unsure of, but this I know …You love me. And I know, You know, that I love You. In fact, I can’t live without loving You. I can’t live without worshiping You. I can’t live without staying close to Your heart.

It’s such a strange juxtaposition–this place of being so sure, yet so unsure. I’m filled with great faith and anticipation, yet so frequently tempted to give in to the weariness that threatens to consume my soul. I’m filled with such sweet peace and contentment, yet sensing the deep shadows of fear and worry lurking about ready to pounce at any given moment. I’m filled with an abounding and certain hope, yet hard pressed on every side by the taunts of past failures and disappointments.

But it really doesn’t matter all that much. Because, after all, to whom shall I go?

You are my answer, Lord. You are my choice. Not just my first choice–my only choice. Now. Still. Forever. I choose You–just as You chose me. You are my only plan. My only path. My only provision.

My only hope.

Oh I still plan my way at times–lots of times–but You always faithfully order, and sometimes reorder, my steps. For that, and for so many other things, I am eternally grateful. That’s just it, I am grateful, Lord–for so much. I know You know that too. This place I’m at–it’s not about ingratitude. It’s not about failing to recognize the beauty and blessings right here and right now. It’s not about a lack of faith. It’s not about discouragement or doubt. And it’s certainly not about depression or even oppression. It’s about one thing and one thing only …

TRUST.

So I will, Lord. I will trust You. I choose to trust You. With all that is within me, I choose trust and I choose rest. I choose to rest from my works. I choose to rest even when it seems like everything in me (and a whole lot outside of me) is constantly screaming at me to DO something. But what can I really “do” Lord? Except turn my gaze,once again, fully upon You.

After all, to whom shall I go?

You alone have the words of eternal life. You alone are life. You alone are my life. I am Yours and You are mine. It’s enough.

It is enough, but it’s not the end of the story. Because You’re not about enough–You’re about abundance. So whatever abundance looks like in my life, Lord …

I’m still here. I’m still here with You. I’m still here waiting with You. I’m still here waiting for You. 

I’m still here believing. I’m still here believing You will do what only You can do.

After all, to whom shall I go?


14 thoughts on “To Whom Shall I Go?

  1. What a good word, Cindy!

    I especially like this part, ” I choose You–just as You chose me. You are my only plan. My only path. My only provision.”

    Thanks for being an encourager on a Monday morning~
    Blessings to you,
    Melanie

  2. Always right one point with what I am feeling, with what I am going through and what I am needing to hear. Thank you!

  3. Thank you for your honesty! It can be discouraging hearing from other Christians how they are so strong in their faith and they appear to have no doubts. In my mind, true faith is pressing on in the face of doubt. Be blessed. Your post blessed me!

    1. I’ve always loved the Psalms for that reason. David, in particular, so often seems to pour out his heart before God, but always comes back to a place of worship. Thanks so much for stopping by and for your kind words. Blessings to you!

  4. Yes, Cindy. Great declaration…my favorite…it’s all about trust. Sometimes the Lord brings us to the crossroads reality of where all we know is…” I am Yours and You are mine”. Like you, I am choosing to trust Him, no matter what distractions the world, flesh, or devil trys to throw at us. The One who is within us is greater than all. Thanks for sharing. Hugs!

  5. Thank you for these words. I am struggling with trusting God as a mom of six children who has had a recent struggle with terrifying anxiety and obsessive thoughts right in the middle of our busy and otherwise happy spring. As a real “thinker” kind of person, it is such a tough thing to simply trust and ignore the junk our enemy tries to throw at my mind! I want to probe and understand but then find myself in defeat because I just HAD to think it through! Thanks for the reminder that I just need to trust Him and bathe in his simple and beautiful promises, as “too simple to be true” as they can seem for us stubbornly introverted types!

    1. I love that sometimes the truth IS too simple (and good) to be true! But that doesn’t mean that the struggles we face aren’t also very real. Praying that His goodness keeps your mind and heart at rest in those “simple and beautiful promises.” I’m so glad the post blessed you – thank you so much for taking the time to let me know!

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