“Are you sure, Lord? I mean, are you really sure?”
Yes, love, I’m sure. This is one of the very things I had in my heart when I created you.
“But seriously, who even cares? Honestly, tons of people are able to share the same kinds of things I share–and most of them do it a whole lot better.”
Whether or not you ever believe anyone else cares is irrelevant. I care. I’ve given you a unique outlook and a unique way of expression. No one else can say exactly what you can say, exactly the way you can say it. Your words–your voice–add more to the big picture than you will ever understand.
“You know how I hate to “bug” people. I hate the idea of making anyone feel obligated to listen to me or read the stuff I write–and I especially don’t want anyone to pretend they like it!”
How, or even if, other people respond isn’t your responsibility. Your responsibility is to be faithful with what I’ve give you.
“What qualifications do I have anyway? What do I know? Everything I share is just so simple …”
What do you know? You know me. You know the unique facets of my character I’ve revealed to you. There is great beauty in the simplicity of remaining true to who you are and what you know.
“Lord, you know I don’t have the confidence or the desire for this kind of calling. There are plenty of people out there who do–people who really have something to say. People who are confident in their message. If I was really supposed to be some kind of “voice” wouldn’t I have a little more confidence–or at least like it a little better?”
Your confidence needs to be in me and not in what you do or don’t feel. You don’t fully see or understand the struggles of others anymore than they see or understand yours. But you do know what I’m asking of you. Will you follow me even when it doesn’t make sense? Will you trust me?
“I just don’t get it, Lord. Are you sure … ?”
Apparently he is. I’m the one who has been more difficult to convince.
But recently the Lord enabled me to glimpse this issue from another perspective. For just a moment, he lifted the veil to the unseen realm. What I saw shocked me. With startling clarity, I saw that I had been “played” … for a whole lot longer than I care to admit.
I may get tired of words (especially my own!) but when it comes to areas of gifting, that’s pretty much all I’ve got. So what better place for hell to launch its most relentless attack in my life than in making sure those words are never released? I’ve finally grasped the fact that there have been “spiritual forces of wickedness” at work over the years that have spent an inordinate amount of time and energy trying to accomplish one simple goal …
To keep me quiet.
I’m not buying it anymore. I may not understand it. I may not always enjoy it. I may never really see the point. I may never even see much fruitfulness from the words I speak and write–but I will NOT be silent.
What about you? Where has the “accuser” tried to silence you? You don’t have to understand it. You don’t have to like it. You just need to do what Jesus is showing you to do. And when you do …
You’ll find your voice.
4 thoughts on “Finding My Voice”
Eureka!- I can so relate- thanks for that
Powerful & so right on
I so love this post Cindy! Those words He spoke to your heart, “How, or even if, other people respond isn’t your responsibility. Your responsibility is to be faithful with what I’ve give you.” are the key. If we would only just do what He asks and not worry about the rest. He has said the same thing to me many times, so I found myself nodding my head in agreement with your words. We all need the reminder that it is always about Him and what He desires and if we will not allow our thoughts to roam into the realm of insecurity and fear (which, of course is from the enemy of our souls), we would be right where we were intended to be.
Really love this one Cindy. I’ve had similiar conversations/wrestles with God. Your insight is brilliant. Yeah, I won’t let the enemy silence me–no chance.