Cindy Powell

I’ve been trying to hold on …

To hunger

Trying to hold on …

To passion

Trying to hold on …

To the version of me 

I thought You were forming

But what if the only way to hold on 

Means letting go of every past version of what those words mean?

What if it means letting go of every past version of me?

What if it means letting go of EVERYTHING 

Again

Everything but You

And, if I hold on to You

Lord willing 

May I become one

With YOUR passion 

With YOUR all consuming fire

Burn up all that is  false, Abba

Even the tiniest inconsistency

With what is authentic and real

The false is so much prettier

So much more presentable

So much more relatable 

But so much less 

Than the path of absolute  surrender

Burn up expectations, Abba

My own and those of others

And teach me to sit with You again

In the dirt 

In the mess

In the pain

In the uncertainty 

Remind me again

There is no passion without pain

There is no resurrection without death

Remind me again 

That emptying is holy

Waiting is worship

And that nothingness

Is a perfect place for You to dwell

Quietly

Persistently

Insistently

Until all that’s left

Is this moment in time

With You