What Do You Want?

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Art by Aeron Brown
Do you want what you think you need in your timing, or do you want what you really want in Mine?

I  wasn’t expecting the question. But, of course, I already knew the answer. Even though it sounds like a no-brainer, there was a very real cost associated with the “obvious” answer. What I thought I needed was important. In fact, I’d venture to say it was very important. It would likely be considered very important by just about any responsible, thinking person.

But sometimes faith doesn’t look like responsibility and logic…

Sometimes faith looks like risk.

I decided to trust Him. Recently, I’ve had to make that choice more and more often, and in more and more perplexing and potentially costly circumstances than I ever have before.

But I’m okay with that.

I’m okay with that because finally–after a very long time–after a very long battle–after more ups and downs, and fits and starts, and confusion and doubts–than I could ever recount…

I know what I want.

And what I want is worth the risk.

I’ve been thinking of re-posting something I wrote a few years back for some time. It is about deciding whether we are going to go after our real dreams or if we’ve determined to settle for a “default” life.  Not a bad life, per se, just a life with less risk–and less potential reward.  I wrestled with re-posting it, because, honestly, I was still wrestling within myself.

To be clear, I was not wrestling in my relationship with Jesus. He was not “requiring” or even “requesting” that I go in a particular direction. As we grow in Him, He gives us a lot of leeway in a lot of things and there are lots of paths we can take and remain in a place of amazing, unbroken communion with Him.

This was about taking a chance on myself.  

He knows I believe in Him–He wanted me to believe in me. He wanted me to believe in me the way He believes in me.  And as I learn to do that, I also happen to be putting myself in positions where I need to trust Him like I never have before.

He never demands that, but I do think He kinda likes it.

So I’m re-posting this. Because now I know what I really want. I’m all in. And, as the song at the end of this post says: “Whether I sink, whether I swim, it makes no difference when, I’m beautifully in over my head.”

Who’s diving in with me?

DREAM OR DEFAULT?

What do you want?

What do you really want?
What do you really, really, really want?
When you’re quiet–
When chaos and commotion have been stilled–
When it’s just you and your Creator–
When you’re …
Gazing into His eyes
Secure in His embrace
Safe and free to dream
Wild
Outrageous
Audacious
Dreams with Him?

What do you want?
What makes your heart burn with passion?
What makes you come alive?
What are your dreams when you’re listening–
Really listening–
To your heart?
What are your dreams when you’re listening–
Really listening–
To His heart?
What is the thing that keeps coming back–
The idea that won’t stay buried–
The thought that always sparks excitement in your heart–
When you’re listening to the right Voice?

There are other voices
Voices of discouragement and doubt
Voices of weariness and wariness
Voices of fear and failure
Voices of lack
Obligation
And even responsibility

Those voices are real
But when you listen to them for too long
When you listen to the wrong voice
At the wrong time
Sometimes
The things that are really excuses
Can begin to sound like reasons
Reasons why it’s impossible–
Reasons why it’s improbable–
Reasons why you can’t–

Reasons why you won’t

And when that happens
You can begin to settle for the default
Instead of the dream

To be sure
There is a right time
And a right season
For laying hold of the dreams you dream with God
There is a process…
Of purifying
Of refining
Of counting the cost
But there is a time for the dreams you dream with God
There is time for every purpose under heaven

So, what do you want?
What do you really, really want?
The default…

Or the dream?

**********************

I’ve loved Jenn Johnson’s song, “In Over My Head” since it was first released, but it has taken on a whole new meaning lately. It perfectly sums up how I feel right about now


10 thoughts on “What Do You Want?

  1. Hi Cindy, I’m in with you. It really makes no difference as I shared this principle with my daughter this week. All I want is more and more of Him. I’ve tasted of His goodness and it truly satisfies beyond words to explain. I’m learning more and more how “To Be It”. These three words He spoke to me a few years ago. I’m resting in them. I’m seeing as I do I’m really resting in Him. I’ve found my place of Rest. God bless you. Thanks for sharing as you continue your journey In Him!!!

  2. Amen 😊When we know He is all we need and realize He’s all in with us, it brings such freedom to simply be (or to be it, as you put it). When you’re secure no matter what – you really can risk it all!

  3. Thank you Cindy. I’ve sat her at my kitchen table and have read your poem several times to a friend. And she expresses how she loves the way you can write exact words that she has felt and pictured in her alone times with Jesus. And then inspired by the Holy Spirit brings the word, “If you are in the light as He is in the light, you will have fellowship one with another.”
    In His Peace,
    Juanita-Pita

  4. Thank you friend I laugh as I’m reading this online and have your book of love letters next to me and appreciated you sharing your heart or God’s heart that is

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

  5. Awesome, Cindy. Amen! And I love the artwork on this, too! Yes, living the life we were meant to live requires trust and great courage. But His love makes us brave and overcomes the fear of stepping out of our boats onto the water with Jesus.

    This song has been a favorite of mine, too. “Beautifully in over my head” is a scary and wonder-filled place to be. It’s the only place to be! 🙂

    1. For sure! And to think – we really are only out “knee deep.” Can’t imagine what it will be like when we finally get out to the real deep end 😉One thing is for sure – He will be there with us and it will be glorious!

  6. Beautiful Cindy! Both your post and the song that’s new to me. Well, I let Jesus cut the rope that tied me to the shore a long time ago and now I only want to know Him more, the fellowship of His sufferings and the power of His resurrection. Whatever dream He has for my time on this side of the veil, is fine with me…and I know it will only be a foretaste of heaven’s best. What a great salvation is ours, an Inheritance protected and waiting to be revealed when Jesus returns for us. Yes, I’m all in. Thanks for sharing!

    1. So glad I got to introduce you to the song, Glenda–one of my most favorites. So amazing to know that no matter how “deep” we go there is always so much more of Him to know ❤ So glad we have all of eternity 🙂 Blessings and hugs~

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