Have you ever …
Had so much to say that you feel like you have nothing to say?
Had so many emotions churning around in your soul that you’re not sure you’re really feeling anything at all?
Been unshakeably confident and woefully insecure all at the same time?
Been overwhelmed by pain yet joyfully hopeful?
Been righteously driven to do yet contentedly compelled to wait?
Been so fired up and passionate about something that you’re almost immobilized by the intensity of it?
Have you ever been not okay at all
and yet …
more than okay?
Or is it just me?
Becaust this is exactly where I’m at.
And I’m learning to be okay with it.
I’m learning to sit in the messiness of it …
In the unknowing
In the waiting
In the tension and perplexity that exists between urgency and the timing (the real timing not the made-up-making-excuses-for-laziness-and-unbelief-timing) of God.
The need is now.
The need is urgent.
The need is real.
But if He doesn’t go …
I’m not going.
And that’s all there is to it.
So I’ll wait.
I’m not giving up.
I’m not giving in.
When He moves …
I will move with Him
Until then …
I’ll watch and pray
And I’ll do what I can
where I am …
Because this is where I’m at.