My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. — Psalm 42:2
I’ve been carrying an ache in my heart that has been an almost constant companion in recent days. It’s often confusing. It’s rarely convenient. And it’s incredibly difficult to communicate.
But I can never escape it for long.
When I quiet my soul — when I still my own thoughts and emotions — when I cut through the layers of distraction competing for my attention — I discover the source of the ache —
And it’s always the same.
It’s always him — Jesus — my Beloved — my Friend — the Lover of my Soul.
My heart longs for Jesus. My soul aches for him. “As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?” (Psalm 42:1-2).
This is my cry. When I’m aware of it — and even when I’m not. I want to meet with him. I want to be with him. I want to seek his face. I want to know his heart.
I want to know HIM.
But really, my ache isn’t just about knowing him …
My ache is for us — the collective us — the Church — his bride — to ache to know him.
Because that’s his ache.
That’s his desire. That’s his longing. He wants us — individually and corporately — to want him.
He wants us to know how much he loves us. He wants us to know how much he longs to be with us. He wants us to know how much he aches for us.
We value and pursue a lot of wonderful things in the Church. A lot of good and godly things. But sometimes in our pursuit of good things …
We miss the very best thing.
And the very best thing is him. It’s his Presence. It’s being with him and lingering with him rather than always rushing off to do the next thing. It’s hearing his voice and hearing his heart. It’s knowing the joy of being his — the joy of loving him and allowing him the joy of lavishing his love on us.
Sometimes we get this — at least a little — as individuals, but rarely do we get it corporately. Rarely do we value the pursuit of him above the pursuit of the things he does. But that’s what I long for — because that’s what he longs for. So I live with this ache. I live with this longing. I live with an ache that really isn’t even mine …
And because it is his, until his longing is finally fulfilled, my heart will continue to ache too …
My heart will ache for us to ache for him.
Lord, fill us with your own desire and help us to understand the value you place on the simple joy of relationship. Help us choose the better part … and the better part is always you. ~Amen
I’ve heard this song by Jenn Johnson at least a dozen times in the past week. Although it has been out for years now, it is still one of my favorites. The first part is her asking the Lord what she can “do” for him–the second part is his response. Listen and let him sing his heart’s desire over you ….