But God …

heartache

Today I’m feeling weak. That in itself isn’t at all unusual, but today I am feeling unusually weak. Weak in body, weak in my heart, mind, and resolve.

But in my weakness, He is strong.

Today I don’t feel like I can “keep on keeping on.” I don’t feel like I can get up and try “one more time.” I don’t feel like there is really much point to it all.

But I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Today I can’t see “new” things–I see only old patterns and failures. It seems like things are moving backwards, not forwards. Hope seems more like wishful thinking that I can’t afford to indulge in, than confident expectation.

But He is the God of hope and He fills me with joy and peace in believing.

Years ago I wrote a song that included the lyrics:

If Your strength is made perfect in weakness
Then surely I must be
The strongest of the strong
For I am the weakest of the weak
 

All these years later, I don’t feel stronger–I feel weaker.

But God …

But God who is strong in my weakness. But God who is able in  my inability. But God who brings hope to the hopeless.

Just so you know,  I don’t feel any of those “buts” right now. But I have learned one thing along the way … I don’t have to feel them for them to be true.

I just need to believe …

just enough …

to get up one more time whether I feel like it or not.

I will. 

How about you?

Father,  Thank You for being the defender of the weak, and the comforter to those in need. You never deny my right to feel and You never dismiss how I feel. You just pick me up, brush me off, love me (love me, love me), and set me back on track. It’s ironic that it is Father’s Day today–I feel like I should be blessing You–and yet somehow I know simply allowing You to be the Daddy I need so desperately, does bless You. Thank You for being my Abba–the One who loves me always. And the One who always has a “but” for every heartache, every failure, and every weakness. I love You more than life. ~Amen


3 thoughts on “But God …

  1. A very honest and heartfelt post. I’m sure many of us can relate to feelings of helplessness and weakness, especially those who have experienced deep depression. I like that you maintained your mental strength even when your physical and spiritual self felt like giving up, because that’s what enables people to overcome their circumstances and stand fast in what’s right. Thank you for sharing!

    1. Thanks for commenting, Benjamin. Always nice when others relate–I think God brings a measure of redemption from difficult times if you can use them to somehow encourage others that they are not alone.

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